Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Finding Comfort in Care

Mother and daughter, Carmen and Maria.

When Maria Gonzalez moved to the U.S. twenty-two years ago, she was reaching for dreams she has since achieved, dreams of becoming a citizen and raising a family here. The hardest part of moving here was leaving her parents in Colombia.

Over the years, they visited one another as often as they could afford to, but Maria longed to be with her mother, Carmen. Carmen was a homemaker who raised five children in a small town near Cali, Colombia. She loved tropical music, dancing, cooking and being in nature.

When Carmen came to visit in April 2012, Maria noticed that her mother seemed exhausted. Carmen assured her that she was fine, she was just tired and had a sore back. She was happy to be here to rest, relax and to spend time with Maria and the grandchildren she missed so much.

In the car one day, Carmen began to cry, telling Maria she was in great pain and wanted to return to the house. Maria insisted on taking her to the emergency room at JFK Medical Center, where an MRI was performed, detecting a stage four, inoperable tumor in her lower back. Carmen was admitted to the oncology floor right away.

Explaining the shocking news that Carmen's cancer was too advanced for treatment and she may have as little as a week to live, the oncology staff suggested that Maria admit her mother to the care of Hospice of Palm Beach County. "I had no idea what hospice was. We were in shock. It was all happening so fast," said Maria.

A Hospice chaplain and nurse met with Maria and Carmen. "Right away, they were so kind to my mother, offering her some warm soup, making her comfortable," shared Maria. "They explained what hospice care is and that it is a benefit under Medicare and insurance, but my mother didn’t fall into any of those categories. I told them that we had no medical insurance, money or resources to pay for her care," she continued. "They told me not to worry, that my mother would not have to move from there - that they would take care of her and she would have everything she needed." Carmen was cared for in the Jay Robert Lauer Hospice and Palliative Care Center located right there in the hospital.

"Everyone cared for my mother with such gentleness, compassion and respect," Maria explained. "When the Music Therapist came I was holding my mother’s hand. As she sang songs in Spanish and English, my mother responded. It was a meaningful and wonderful experience."

Maria with her son, Angel.
Carmen was 68 when she passed, and had been in our care for two weeks. "We were not prepared emotionally for a funeral and we did not know what to do," Maria continued. "Again, Hospice told us not to worry and they would take care of us." We arranged for a local priest to hold mass right at the hospital, and it was a touching experience for the whole family.

"It was a gift from God to have all of this. It is a gift to have peace in our sorrow. We are so grateful to Hospice of Palm Beach County. We are so grateful to everyone," Maria concluded.